1. If you are too old to wipe drool off your face by yourself or walk without a cane, you should probably not go to an intermediate dance class at this time.
2. walking around in your birthday suit in a public area (even if it is a dressing room) is a large NO NO. just avoid it at all costs.
3. if your towel is large enough to wrap around your entire body and still go down to the middle of your quads, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER to just wrap it around your waist. especially if you are a woman.
4. If you are sweating so much the sweat drips off your face and onto the floor, or, if you are a teacher, sometimes onto your students, it is probably best if you keep a towel with you at all times so you can wipe it off. this will bring pleasure to both you and those in your classroom.
5. PERSONAL HYGINE. (i.e. brushing your teeth, possibly showering now and again, wearing deoderant and perfume if possible)
6. monster bugs retain fear of being squished by sneakers.
7. a snail can sport a 'stache in a way no man ever can
8. if a balloon offers to carry you miles away, be leery. balloons are the oppressed and always thinking of ways to retaliate. once you leave the ground you are at their mercy.
9. even if you're a prince, nobody likes a unibrow
10. cats are evil. no matter how many times your neighbor swears their cat is different. don't. pet. it.
11. whales are always a good ally. they are really large and everyone is trying to save them.
12. disco balls are the life of any dance party. especially for people over the age of 55 in attendance.
13. slugs are grossly misunderstood.
14. when you're staying on the 14th floor of hotel without a 13th floor, 14=13. which means you should ask to change rooms.
creators: Chandler, Corinne, and Ashlie
so much wisdom.
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